The Drive By Wedding

Damian called me a few weeks ago and asked if I would marry him... to Lisa.  It would be a drive by wedding and since we live in Pennsylvania a self-uniting marriage was an option.  Why Damian asked me, I don't know, but he was willing to change the wedding date to accommodate my schedule.  July 1st was the big day.  Damian and Lisa had some serious family issues to deal with the week before, the night before and the day of.  Lisa's mom, Nancy, was in the hospital and Damian's Dad, Joe, thinks he suffered a minor heart attack. But that's one of the things about commitment, determination and patience, Damian & Lisa were going to become Mr. & Mrs. on July 1st and that is what happened.

Something else happened.  But this something stunned and confused me, until I recalled my words at the ceremony.  Prepared with a prayer, rose petals and cedar smudge, Lisa, Damian, Lisa's Dad Joe, Lisa's sister Shannon, Lisa's soul sister Angelique and I stood under the magical Magnolia Tree.  While Lisa & Damian stood on rose petals, I lit the cedar and asked that all our relations join us.  The spirits of those who had gone before, and those that will follow, were invited to be a part of this ceremony.  I joked that if I started to speak in Italian we'd know for sure that they showed up.  Then we read a prayer* together, I looked up at Lisa & Damian and stated, "You Are Married".  It was done.  No words of faithfulness, commitment or cherishing.  No rings, no kissing the bride, no vows.  Done.  

Damian took over and asked Angelique for the rings.  He said a few words as he slipped the diamond band onto Lisa's finger.  Lisa said a few words while she slipped the sterling band onto Damian's finger.  They kissed.  There was a quick photo shoot and then we jumped in the car and went to dinner. 

Sitting in the back seat of the car I was wondering, what the heck came over me?  If you know me, you know I have plenty to say, especially in such spiritually infused settings.  However, the words, "You Are Married", was the best I could do. After about an hour... I heard it.  It was Linda, Damian's mother.  She not only showed up she spoke up. 

Linda was a good friend to me.  When she died on July 28th 2009, she left behind an incredible amount of silly stories, ass-kicking attitude and fantastic imagery.  It makes sense that she would show up and cut to the chase.  It was very hot under that Magnolia tree and Damian and Lisa had already passed all valid tests of their love and devotion.  Why drag it out?  Hell, if it's a Drive By Wedding, let's use those hit-and-run tactics.  And we did.  This explanation relieved my stunned and confused state and replaced it with, holy cow... it couldn't have been better.  My entire body relaxed and I was able to enjoy a delicious dinner with the Drive By Wedding crew.  That crew included Linda, and maybe that's why Damian asked me to be there.

* Great Mystery, teach me how to trust my heart,

my mind, my intuition, my inner knowing,

the senses of my body, the blessings of my spirit.

Teach me to trust these things so that I may enter

my Sacred Space and love beyond my fear,

and thus Walk in Balance

with the passing of each glorious Sun.
~ Lakota Prayer

What is Everything?

You may believe that location is everything.  Or perhaps you prescribe to the adage that timing is everything.  But I will disagree on both counts.  As far as I am concerned, you can be at the wrong place at the wrong time and everything will still be just fine if you have the right attitude.

For me, Attitude is Everything.

Before you start posting about how wrong I am, how optimistic and perhaps even naive my thoughts are, give it a try.  Think of a place you didn't want to be, or a moment when you felt that your timing was way off.  Now follow the chain of events leading from there.  Do you think that your attitude could have created an outcome that was beneficial instead of disastrous... in fact, was it really such a disaster?  

Case in point: I was located on top of a horse, not just any horse, but a Thoroughbred whom I knew was just a bit more of a handful than most.  Location.  We were heading across the ring when two white butterflies decided to do a little dance right in front of his nose.   Timing.  I ended up on the ground pretty quick.  Somewhat stunned and ultimately sore, I decided to do something about this horses' behavior.  Attitude.  I wrote an email to Temple Grandin and that night I received a telephone call from... Temple Grandin. We had a long talk and she gave me some great suggestions about how I could best approach working with this horse.  And that was everything.  

The opportunity to discuss the care of this horse, the opportunity to start a relationship with Ms. Grandin.  The opportunity to grow and evolve and get a new perspective.  That my friend is everything to me.  What is everything to you?

Are You Home?

Thomas Wolfe said, “You can't go home again”.  Thomas Wolfe was wrong.  You can go home.  In fact, I believe it would do us all immeasurable good if we went home and stayed there.  Part of that 'good' is determining where home is.

Oaky was my horse, and I kept him on three acres on Woodbourne Road in Langhorne.  That is home to me, the place where I connected with the Universe.  For five years, through all the seasons, I spent quiet time cleaning stalls, feeding and grooming, and then swinging up on his back and heading out for a ride.

It was sometime in 1974 when I left that place and I went back some twenty years later. Standing in the driveway I could feel the excitement that comes over you when you are quietly anticipating pure joy. The smells of the old grape vines, tall grasses and dusty barn all entered and enveloped me.  Something shifted and I was aware that I was home.  I was in the safest place in the Universe, completely protected and perfect.  From here I could accept anything and love everyone.  This was familiar, and this is where I wanted to be.  This was Oakyville and my mission was to find a way to go there as much as possible.  It was pretty clear that all I had to do was keep this experience in my consciousness and I could get back there.  I could stay there.  And that is why Thomas Wolfe was wrong… I went home, I am home.  And it feels fabulous.  Tell me, where is your home?

April, Where Are You Taking Me?

2012 has been extraordinary. In December I went to Maine to spend the Holidays with the kids. No sooner was I home when I was invited to fly out to Denver to celebrate Laura's birthday. A few weeks into February I was invited to visit Barb and Tom in Tennessee, and since there was plenty of reasons to say yes, I did. Then in March I arranged a visit to the Marriott Ranch in Virginia.  It was a complimentary stay, including a two hour trail ride in the foot hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Donna joined me and we worked out the last details of a horse based retreat called Quiet Road to be held at the ranch.

Check it out here.

  

Now it is April, and I am certain that I will be invited to some place outside of Pennsylvania for a day or two.  And I don't think it will be New Jersey.  But I am not ruling it out completely.

Here are my questions... besides, "April, where are you taking me?". Could life really be about intentions?  Could I possibly have some subconscious desire that is asking the Universe to treat me to such generous and sentimental holidays?  How is it that I could be so fortunate?  What can I do to reciprocate?  Who is steering this vessel?  There is a bubbling up of joyful anticipation for what is coming my way.  And it isn't a person, a job or a new car... it's awareness.  It can't be denied.  Look at the trees that are bursting and listen to the rain that is falling.  It's constant, effortless and flowing through everything.

It really doesn't matter if I get an invite to fly to Austin or take a road trip to Nova Scotia at some point this month.  What matters is that I continue to appreciate the bubbling joy, stay aware of the splendor of nature and be patient. 

A good friend advised me the other day.  He said, "Amy, just remember, all those feelings, all that energy, all that power, that is all coming from you.  That is coming from inside you."  

It feels like love.  And my intention is to share that love.  Appreciate that love and stay wrapped up in that love.  And maybe, that is where April will take me.

Happy Trails.

Amy

Pretend You Care

The fellow in middle is Arvil and
one of the others is Eric.

You might know that right now I don't have a man in my life.  That means a boyfriend, lover, significant other, husband or sweetheart.  And you might agree that there is nothing wrong with that.  There are a few that might go as far as to say... "Lucky You".  Well what you might not know is I have two pretend boyfriends.  Eric & Arvil.  They are real men, but pretend boyfriends.  I started thinking about three years ago that just the idea that someone cares about me is all I really want.  So I asked Arvil if he'd just act like he cared.  He didn't exactly say no, so I took it as an affirmative.  I think I ended up married this way once too.  Then when I was on the telephone with Eric, whom I have never met (he is a friend of Arvil's and we bonded over a common concern for the big Latvian knucklehead) I asked him if he would be interested in being my pretend boyfriend.  I said, "all you have to do is call me once in a while and pretend you care".  He was in.

So every once in a while I will get a call from Arvil or Eric and they say sweet things like, "How've you been", "Man, I miss you" and "Babe, it's been too long".  My heart rate and blood pressure do all the things they would do if they were real boyfriends, so there is a benefit without the... without the .. hum, what is it I am missing?

Well, I will tell you what I am missing.  A big old smile, a hug and an I Love You.  That is just something that I would love to get every morning and every evening.  What do you think you'd miss the most if your sweetheart wasn't coming home anymore?  And if you don't have a sweetheart, would you settle for a pretend one?  

Tomorrow, I suppose I'll get up, smile, give myself a hug and remind myself that I Love You.  

Sweet Dreams Sweet Hearts.  I Love You Too.  Amy

love just is...

As many of you know, I am the self proclaimed Luckiest Woman in the World. Sometimes a certain mood strikes me and I try to figure out why. Once I thought by claiming this title I was in effect preventing others from the same good fortune, but that didn't last. One of my most intimate relations once responded with, "Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself". And they could be right.

That 'most intimate relation' was someone who you would naturally assume would love me too much to be anything but supportive and enthusiastic. Just goes to show you... you can't assume love, take love for granted, expect love or reject love. Love just is.

Barb and Tom have been in love in their own particular way. Both having been married before, both with children from those marriages, both with histories, stories and experiences that led them to forge a friendship that has lasted over forty years. Forty years... I knew them when they were younger than I am now. How does that happen? How do you adjust, compromise and forgive? How do you appreciate, keep your integrity and hold your boundaries? You just do, because love just is. Thank you Barb and Tom, I just love you both. And meeting you in 1972 was just one of the luckiest things that ever happened to me. I am looking forward to heading to Nashville again, real soon to sip some Jack Daniels and watch the sun set over those hills.

As soon as I figure out how to load up the video, you'll be able to watch Barb & Tom do the 10-Step!  Hey!  I figured it out... I think.  Click Here

Listen to God.

The sun was hitting the ground where wet leaves, blown aside by passing cars, steamed and filled the air with the scent of Indian summer. Oaky was moving at a steady pace away from the barn and across the railroad tracks. We were on our way. Probably without a final destination, just heading out. Then I received a message, strong, clear and undeniable, ‘Hey Amy, everything is going to be all right, in fact, it’s going to be great”. My entire body vibrated in harmonic delight. I glowed and smiled and then a voice in my head said, “Yah, you might have it made now… but you will suffer later”. As instantly as the ecstasy took over, it disappeared.

What happened next is the miracle. The joy came right back. I, at fourteen years old, made the choice to believe that everything is great and will continue to be great. That ride, on that road, on that September day sums up what I now call “Oakyville”. The place where everything is love, everyone is love and everything is o.k., just the way it is.Now I am not saying I haven’t been detoured and waylaid in the forty years since that fabulous experience. But I’ve been getting back in the saddle and I keep heading out. That, I think, is what it means to be a warrior. And that’s the way I want to live my life.

Listening to the Great Mystery, and letting my bones hear what God has to say.